Dear Journal

The FREE CLINIC in cambinocot was just an intense feeling. It took us about an hour to get to the moutains of Talamban. This is where my brother and a church staff, Edwin and Ramz keep on going there. Saturation and visiting from house to another house spreading the Love through the Word.

Being part of the ministry where "kuya benj" is the head... God Loves You So Do I... i took part. This is my 3rd free clinic. It was 9:30AM when we arrive at their local gymnasium where we would be having our Free Clinic. Getting there was soo much fun. Locals started coming in as soon as they saw us coming and organizing. We began dealing and sharing. I was able to deal and did soul winning. I was overjoyed seeing them... even crying their heart out knowing how much God has been loving them all along. I was able to bring 7 souls at Jesus' feet.

Then we started logging in the triads: well, it was just the weight, blood pressure, and nothing follows. I am really thankful that i am part of this ministry. All for God's glory! God knows my heart and He knows my desires. Seeing people, touching lives and sharing to them the love that God has been constantly pouring to me. I just couldn't explain the joy. I told Ramz, i can't even spell the word J-O-Y.

The more i was so blessed looking at my friend so faithful. Ahh.. i am just soo blessed with his life. The more i see him serve the Lord, the more i feel for him. Seeing him win souls for God. I am just thankful he has been there. I mean, he has been always there for me. Those times when i cried, those times when i needed someone to talk to, those times whenever i got problems and heartaches, may it be in the matters of the heart and family... he was there to listen. He calls me ate, i call him kuya... he thinks its cute if we call each other that way. :p I always thank God for him. He has blessed my life. If there's one thing special and will never forget about him... that is... he always tell me: "God knows best!"

GLYSDI ^^

It was not until over the weekend that everything just turned out the way God wanted it to be. Norlyn called me up and wanted me to come to church for an emergency meeting for Sunday School teachers. But before that, Pastor Kent talked with me and explained what he has been praying all along. I was able to clear my mind from doubts and fears. This firm that we're planning to build is an IT firm. I haven't prayed intensely for this but he does. They have been waiting for me to say 'yes'. God made everything clear right in my very eyes. All i have to do is to respond and to join in HIS work.

The evening came of Saturday. He was in a business meeting when i tried to send him an SMS. But he sent me an SMS to say goodnight though. There isn't a single day that we don't get to communicate. I was waiting for him to tell me he'd be going to manila for business trip. I felt differently when he told me he's going to the US for the convention. I asked him how many days he'd be staying there... i was kinda relieved when he says just for a few days. Anyway, I am excited seeing him in church on a Sunday.

Sunday came... we had a guest speaker, he's been supporting the Bible Baptist College for years. Now, he's been supporting the Vietnam missions. I was really blessed with his message. In the morning... in church, he delivered a message all about doing what we can, doing all that we can and doing it now! I went on my knees and i saw him too. I know he's been praying and wanting to be on a full time servant. I am just soo blessed with his life.

That evening, i was looking for him in Katipunan, but he wasn't there. I don't know why... I asked Norlyn for company, she was there for me when i called up my ex to make everything come to an end. And i did! That was my last call. I told him to just forget about me and just let me be. I understand how he feels. I never felt the love but what i felt was pity. I didn't want it to overule. I am more excited to join in God's work. Now, that my brother has been involved in church. God has answered my prayer one at a time in HIS perfect time. As what he would always tell me... God knows best!

I believe he's losing heart for my friend. I hope he is... i could see his heart... i know how he really felt for her. But i know and i am praying... God has been slowly revealing everything.

He asked me to pray for him... he's in manila now. He says he'll be missing me... although there are things that aren't crystal yet... but soon it will be. God knows best! I told him it'd only be for days... and added telling him how excited i am for the Free Clinic. I am all the more giving for HIM everything I can. He will take care of me.

That's how my teacher tells me... i just feel tired. Tired of almost everything... Waiting... and just not doing anything... i only wait for people to realize on things... but now i am no longer waiting but i am more than happy and having this joy and this is how i should be telling you. God amazes me.. His grace really amazes me... how people close to me are helping me get through everything. Sometimes, we have to accept that there are just things that we just couldn't have no matter what.

I am so much thankful for the guys so close in my heart. I have learned how much they care for me. My friend in church, this guy has helped me get through. I know that he's been hurting too. I could tell and even see his heart how he has been struggling. But above all, i could tell that he cares. I was having lunch with him and his dad the other day, his dad was all the more giving me advices i never heard before. I am keeping them. Then, there's my brother, i know i was stupid sometimes. but he sure does accept me for who i am. He knows that i am hurting... he comforts... he helps me come to realize that there is a pot of gold right at the end of that rainbow. These guys have helped me come to my senses. God has brought me to my senses. Now, i am all the more living for Jesus!

It amazes me sometimes how God has been working through my life. One day i was crazy in love and the next day i just fall out of love. It took me more than 2 years to come to my senses and it just faded away. Everything was gone... I was praying for His will and what He wants... for His ways are higher than mine. As what my 'big brother' would always tell me.. God knows best! And i trust Him for that. He just lead my heart and directed it to where He wants it to be. Now, there is nothing to hide... my heart is all His.

I know i was deeply hurt... but somehow God has comforted me with people and friends and with His loving arms and comforting words. I may be stupid sometimes I know I am... but God brought me back to where He wants me to be. Now, i am happy... and i have the joy... ^^

*** ring ... my phone rang... it was the president of the Gideons. It has been a week or two that we've been talking and exchanging messages... he wanted to move on and to forget about someone whom he's really in love with. Though i tried to give him advices but love just can move mountains. It's not that easy to forget someone soo dear.

Whaa!! I am suppose to talk about the Bible distribution in a National High School somewhere in Cebu right? So, here it goes. Gideons is a group of businessmen who goes to the different places to distribute the Bible - God's word.

It was my first time to go with the Gideons. It was really fun and i enjoyed it. I met new pastors who went along with the group. I had 2 souls brought at the Lord's feet. It was really a real joy that i went with them.