Dear Journal

I am really tired of waiting... I know God teaches me to be patient and trust but this time... It seems like it takes me forever to wait for someone who doesn't even know and understand what i am feeling right now. Why does it have to be at the end of this year? Is this another promise that you don't even try to keep. My heart has been hurt, really hurt that i think i could no longer dare to carry the pain if there'd still be one. Are you just plainly playing with my feelings. You know that i have been loving you still... but why do you have to treat me this way. I hate myself knowing that i am still loving someone who do not even made a move.

Sometimes, i wanted to run soo fast.. so my pain would fly with the wind as it rushes over me. How i wish it would be as easy as it could be.