Dear Journal

Why would people not see the effort you have done for them? You've been doing everything and it seems that there isn't one that she sees.

"We keep on saying to have things done later .... "

"I am doing everything i can here... and i even gave up things just for your own good... "

Is it because of stress? What are her reasons why she doesn't seem to know what you've been doing? I really don't know. Is it because she's not here and she could not see? As far as i know, she haven't exactly changed even when i was there for a month. Although, their house seem to be still the same, and even the fridge is uncleaned. Isn't it your house or your room would also determine the way you live? Im not being judgemental here... i just don't seem to understand why people don't know how to prioritize things and when they fail, they tend to blame others for it.

"Are you sure this is all you need? ... "

"Coz i really got nothing left here... except for the tithe, but i couldn't get the money, it's for HIM... "

He is in my prayer list and up until now, i didn't cancel out his name. I know he will consider that im working and im also saving for my future. It seems that when i have money he knows that i have it and he asks for it til it's gone. Now, im left with spending my own money paying the bills. When will he be able to know the expenses and the bills. Sometimes, i wonder if he ever thinks of that... where would i get the money. It's still the 15th of the month and all my wallet is gone dry. Pay day is still on the last day of this month. Arrghhh!! I hate it sometimes... why do i have to think of where i'd get the money. Sometimes, i just look on the brighter side... God wanted me to live by faith like a missionary does... waiting for the money and allowance to come. He wanted me to trust Him that He'd never fail to provide all my needs. How does that sound?