Dear Journal

A lot of people tend to make some list on what they will do for the coming year... A New Year's Resolution?! I used to have one for the past years, but then i realized they never were meant to be. You can never tell what would happen tomorrow. I never imagined that my life would turn out this way... I wasn't expecting these things will come my way... my job, my friends, my teacher, and so the list continues that even my fingers is not enough to count them one by one.

Although trials and problems come along as i journey toward His glory, His love will always prevail and never will He leave me til the end. I have seen Him slowly working things out in my life. He has answered my prayers one at a time in His perfect timing.

As the new year: 2008 approaches... I could not help but look back on what happened in the past months. The whirlwind love story, saying good byes... which i really really hate, but you know what? Despite all these... His grace still amazes me and His love is still a mystery. I could never ask for more. Hello! Welcome! 2008!

I don't want to think about it... Although there's only the two of us here in the house, there should be one who'd stay low when the other feels he's that high. I hate it when my brother doesn't seem to understand how busy i am with my work schedule. He just doesn't seem to care. When it comes to the budget?! Arrghh!! Does he even think where i got the money to pay all the bills? As i talked with my cousin yesterday, she tells me guys are always like that... what?! Why can't he just save some money and not buy all those unwanted stuff. I am having a hard time trying to budget the money. Is it that difficult to understand? When i talked with my cousin, that was then i knew what God has been trying to say all this time. I was not able to understand not 'til this end of the year. Whaah!! God answered my prayers, i waited for a year. He wanted to let me live by faith. He wanted me to trust Him and to just wait on His leading. As i said my prayers last night... that was when i knew i have to join HIM in His work in my life. Sometimes it's exciting, but sometimes it's scary... TRUST and LOVE <<< these will always prevail.

Can't wait for midnight... Although it may just be the three of us (kuya, myself and nami) i know it'll be something special. This will be our first christmas that mama and papa isn't around. Well, last year, it was totally different... i celebrated christmas in Korea... and even if my sister was there... it was not the same as that of spending it here in Phils. I missed home so much that time. This time, i am at home alright, but my parents aren't around. Guess, that's how it's gonna be... and there's nothing we can do about it.

I've talked with our pastor yesterday, I couldn't help it but cry in front of him. It's just that... being a Christian is sometimes difficult but the best thing is... there will always be HIM who'd be there for us. The offer is right in front of me... the pay?! Who would have thought that it'd be that big. The place, staying in Japan would be a wonderful experience! It's on my hands... all i have to do is to take it or give it back. Then Pastor Kent made me understand... the very first question he asked was... DID I PRAY ABOUT IT?! The answer? My answer? I said NO! What could i say? I really didn't pray about it... Who would have thought they'd ever call me up and gave me an offer. Saying NO! to a great opportunity is never that easy. It was so hard for me to decide but i have to do it... Just have to say NO! there's only 2 reasons: 1) I didn't pray about this and 2) I didn't have the peace in my heart. Plain and Simple huh?! True! But it's really hard for me. Goodbye going to Japan! So long for the work in there... goodbye working as an ALT. It may seem to be fun, but i have to decide and be firm about it.

It's almost Christmas... there's only 3 more days to go... I couldn't believe that Christmas is coming and it's getting no sooner. This will be our first Christmas without mama and papa around. It'll be their first Christmas in the US too. Time just flies so fast... It only seems to be just yesterday that i had a lonely christmas last year spending it with my sister, bro-in-law and nephew. He has been answering my prayers. 1) celebrating my birthday here in Philippines ; 2) spending christmas and new year here in Philippines and not in Korea. He sure do has plans for me that i do not know what they are sometimes. Life is really exciting! 2007 is almost over, hello! 2008.

Yesterday, an unexpected thing happened. Who would have thought that they would even call me and conduct a long distance phone interview? I just couldn't believe and imagine that it actually happened. I passed! I got the job! What now?! Should i start packing up and go? Should i just stay and forget that it exactly happened and it was right in front of my nose and pretend that i don't see it? Whaah! I really need you help to let me come up with the best decision. I know this is such a wonderful opportunity, it's just that... as always... i can't just decide on my own. I have to consider first and foremost... MY BOSS (He has to have all the glory!) next, i have to consider the people around me.

I'm really confused right now, i could not decide and i really have no idea on what to do as of the moment. He has just been blessing me sooo much that i could not even count all of them. Each day, His mercies and His love is new every morning as i wake up. Having my job, having a wonderful friend and korean teacher, having a wonderful family, my church friends, the rest of the family that even if they may be from afar... they just seem to be just near. Learning how to wait, trusting HIM above all things, patience when i get to wait, and most of all... LOVE. These things, He has been teaching me.

My alarms went ringing at exactly 5:00AM... i tried to pretend that i didn't hear it ringing. And the next thing i knew was.. it was already 6:30AM! I was really in a hurry getting up, when i got up and about to pray... i heard someone outside... which seem to be in the house. It must not have been my brother coz it sounded like a lady and someone i knew... Then suddenly, my brother opened my room and there was Jody, Melle, and Hazel. Oh my!!! They did MAÑANITA! (this is when your friends or someone you know tries to sing to you and they won't stop 'til you wake up and go out of your room or house) As they sang songs for me... i couldn't help it but my tears start to fall on my cheeks. It was my first time to ever experience that! God has definitely have some reasons why i stayed here for my birthday.

When i checked my mobile phone, i read the messages that was sent early in the morning. The first person who greeted me on my birthday was my brother. He woke up at exactly 12:00MN just to be the first one to greet me a happy birthday. Next to him was my best friend, Ronald. Oh, i forgot to tell you that his girlfriend just came back from abroad. They came to our house, and gave me a visit. Anyway, going back to my birthday... then there was Joy and Angel who sent me birthday messages. Don't forget my sister!

No one from the church knew it was my birthday... sad it may seem, but i didn't mind it at all. So long as i really had the best day! It doesn't seem to matter to me! ^^

My brother and i are planning to just celebrate my birthday in Apgujeong (the newly opened korean restaurant in the SM). The day before my birthday, kuya brought and gave me some red roses and some really wonderful flowers from the mountain. We used to go hiking before... now, he's trying to relive his passions for the outdoors. As much as i wanted to go with him on Saturday, i just couldn't coz of the busy schedule and have to work. Anyway, we planned to invite my nephews and niece and my japanese friend, Nami. Could you imagine that i was the first one to celebrate a birthday in that restaurant? The cook gave some fruits... they say it's in the house! Woohoo!! though i wanted to talk with them in korean just to impress my teacher, i just couldn't. We were really having fun and enjoying the night! My brother bought my favorite cake... chocomarjolaine!

There's still lots to tell... i just couldn't express how much happy i am last Sunday and up to now... it's still fresh in my mind how great and unforgettable that birthday was! It was really a blast!

God has really blessed me with soo many things lately. If i were to count them... the number of those stars in the sky would not be as many as the gifts that He has given me. Like for instance, my job has been ... uhmm.. should i say... is never the same as before. And even if i get to be done at 11PM, i wouldn't mind at all! I am having fun and really enjoying with my job. Guess that Colossians 3:23 also helped me. I always keep this verse everytime i have a job. I would always keep in mind that i am working for HIM and not for men. Blessing no. 2.. He gave me a wonderful korean teacher. Just as what i expected, he's be teaching me korean using english as the mode of instruction. How cool is that huh?! Now, i have to be doing my very best to learn korean so as not to disappoint my seung sang nim. I could not thank him enough for staying up late in the evening just teaching me korean. He gave me this korean book that i have to study. I am memorizing as always the expressions that he taught me. Manni gam sa ham ni da seung sang nim! I really appreciate the effort you've given! I'd better have to make sure that when he gets here, i'd be able to talk to him in korean. (let me cross my fingers.. hehehe)

And the list still continues... I could not count them. If only you could see the notebook that i use in my daily in the word... i wrote all my prayer requests... and i could really see that one by one.. He has answered them. It may took Him a long time to give me the answers.. but i know He's got some reasons.

Tada, Kimi wo Aishteru

When i got the DVD for the drama: One Liter of Tears; there was another drama that got my attention. Heavenly Forest << the international title, originally: Tada, Kimi wo Aishteru. This is a jap movie that really made me shed a bucket of tears.

This is a story of 2 college students who both enjoy being alone. The guy loves photography and in time, the lady begins to have the passion for this hobby. He was the only friend she got. They have this secret hideout, a hidden paradise just near their school. An important place for her. This is also where they had their first kiss. This shot was suppose to be her entry for a photo contest... As she tried to savor each moment of that kiss, she tries to forget to take that one best shot.

Little did he know, she left him without any clue. She didn't want him to know she's had this illness she got from her mother's genes. He was waiting... not 'til he received a letter from her. She's in New York working as a professional photographer. A job, a passion, a hobby she onece learned from him. He went to see her but only finds out in the end that she had just died. Those letters he received were letters from her only to let him feel she's still there. She loves him soo much that she doesn't want to hurt him.

A very touching story... it'll definitely never dry your eyes...