Dear Journal

Can't wait for midnight... Although it may just be the three of us (kuya, myself and nami) i know it'll be something special. This will be our first christmas that mama and papa isn't around. Well, last year, it was totally different... i celebrated christmas in Korea... and even if my sister was there... it was not the same as that of spending it here in Phils. I missed home so much that time. This time, i am at home alright, but my parents aren't around. Guess, that's how it's gonna be... and there's nothing we can do about it.

I've talked with our pastor yesterday, I couldn't help it but cry in front of him. It's just that... being a Christian is sometimes difficult but the best thing is... there will always be HIM who'd be there for us. The offer is right in front of me... the pay?! Who would have thought that it'd be that big. The place, staying in Japan would be a wonderful experience! It's on my hands... all i have to do is to take it or give it back. Then Pastor Kent made me understand... the very first question he asked was... DID I PRAY ABOUT IT?! The answer? My answer? I said NO! What could i say? I really didn't pray about it... Who would have thought they'd ever call me up and gave me an offer. Saying NO! to a great opportunity is never that easy. It was so hard for me to decide but i have to do it... Just have to say NO! there's only 2 reasons: 1) I didn't pray about this and 2) I didn't have the peace in my heart. Plain and Simple huh?! True! But it's really hard for me. Goodbye going to Japan! So long for the work in there... goodbye working as an ALT. It may seem to be fun, but i have to decide and be firm about it.