Dear Journal

I know i should not tell a lie but in this case, i couldn't help it but just say something that isn't true. I am so much hurt right now, i just couldn't imagine how long will this feeling end. After i said it... I don't love you anymore... i was soo deeply hurt. I can't continue to have this kind of relationship. I know i have loved him since and up until now... i still couldn't let him go and i still do love him so much. I thought i had forgotten all about him, but he's still here deep in my heart. Everytime he says he loves me more than i know... i believe him. I have to be honest. If only i were to decide for myself, i'd really spend the rest of my life with him. But there are just things that we just could never be. I do not want be hurt and the more we continue this relationship the more deep the pain would be. I want a relationship that's a blessing... something that people around us would be happy for us. Someday, he and i will be with someone. And that someone will be the best for both of us. I've said my last words to him this evening. We're through... i said goodbye. Take care Jun.

Last weekend was really a blast! I could say... What a trip! It was my first time to ever go to that powdery white sand beach. Ok... hold your horses... Here's the detail of the trip. We left Cebu at around 6:00AM. People in charge in the port told us to be there early and i mean really early... 4:00AM coz the motorboat  a.k.a. pumpboat would leave at 5:30AM and there would be lots of people going to Camotes. So, with no questions asked... we went there at the earliest time possible. It's a good thing my nephews were big enough to be house setters, and taking a good care of chancho.

This is the first port that the pumpboat stopped and unloaded all those luggage that took us almost an hour to get to where we're suppose to be getting off. Just look at the water, sooo clear right?! That's only the beginning... wait 'til you see the real beach!

Before we got there, we went to Lake Danao. This is a 40min drive from the real town. This lake is now developed. You can go fishing here if you want to, but you have to pay that fish you catch. Uhmm... cool or not? This is everyone! Meet my Camotes cousins. I remember when we went here before, the water was really murky and there was no way that you could see the fish swimming.

And now... presenting the hidden paradise! They call it little boracay but i doubt it... it's more than Boracay! It's really powdery white sand. And the shoreline... could you just take a closer look at it!

This is the best beach i've ever gone to. I'm coming back!!!

And now... for our last stop! Introducing... the only cave in Camotes. What makes it really nice is... you can actually take a dip inside this cave. Too bad it was low tide when we went there. They say when you get to swim really deeper, it could get you to the sea. Hmm... want to give it a try? Nobody has done that.

Anyway, we got home in the afternoon on board on a fast craft that took us only 2 hours to get back to Cebu. We really had a great time and i really enjoyed it! It was really a vacation!

One day, im gonna take someone with me there... someone soo dear... my sweets! I'll give him a tour and we'll definitely have a great time!

My student really insisted that it would be me who'd be teaching him when he gets to re-enrol. It's still the same class schedule though... Today was his "come-back"! He was absent yesterday that's why. I asked him how he's been doing for the past 2 weeks that we were not able to talk. He told me his grunts and all his complaints bout that job that he got. He only worked for 2 days! Could you imagine?! Everytime i have a class with JK, i get to learn some of their cultures and traditions which is really strange.

By the way, we would be going to my mother's hometown over the weekend... Don't you worry, i would be posting some photos then. Mind you, we got a new cam. We need it! See yah!

I never thought that one day you and i would meet along the way... I couldn't believe that even after 2 years... i was able to hear your voice once again. I was so much happy you just wouldn't know. I know i shouldn't have done what i did yesterday but i believe i have to say it or the moment will just pass by. I have to be honest, i still am loving you so much. I'm missing you each day. And that no matter how i try to let you go... i just couldn't! I may have tried to forget about you... i believe it was for the best... i lost hope if we could ever meet again. But here we are... both have grown and responsible. The only problem we have to face are the people around us. If only they would understand and feel how i feel. When will i be ever free to be with you? Only God knows... He told me this morning in Philippians 3... He wanted me to wait and be patient. I have to trust Him... He's working things out in my life.

Well, now you know... i love you! i miss you!

August 31, 2005 (Wednesday) 

October 24, 2007 (Wednesday)

Only a few are given the privilege to work at home... Let's say for instance... muah! Yep! that's me!!! Here are the benefits:

1. Even if you are to work early in the morning or may it be late at night... it doesn't matter since you're just at home.

2. You can get to work even if you don't get to go to the bathroom and take your shower. Hehehehe :p

3. I could do whatever i want during breaks... like watch TV, cook, clean the house... and even sleep at the luxury of   your own bed! how cool is that huh?!

... more benefits to come... please hold your horses, you might want to kill me having this kind of job!

All you have to do is talk, and stay online! It's really a blessing! What more could i ask? :p

Here's the song which i really like most from the movie... Nana. This song was sung by Yuna Ito. She played Reira in the movie... really love the song... soo sweet!!!

This is the necklace which Nana gave to her boyfriend, where she has the key to this lock necklace. Anyway, with no much further ado.. here's the song. ENJOY!

                       This song is entitled: ENDLESS STORY                                  

If you haven't changed your mind
I want you to be with me tonight
I'm tired of pretending to be strong
We were too young
Every time I think about you baby
I can see it now, I miss you
It's so hard to say I'm sorry

I want to sing this song for you
                     Not for just anybody
The never ending story will continue on in this radiance
I always want to tell of it, forever

Memories of our time together
Don't disappear like this, don't go away
They're starting to warmly melt, so I'm going to make sure
A drop of gentleness spreads down on my chest
I'm missin' you so much that it hurts
Don't let go of your hand that's atop mine

If my wish were to come true, I'd want to sing
This song for you one more time
The never ending story, with incessant love
Tell me why, tell me, forever

I want to sing this song for you
Not for just anybody
The never ending story will continue on in this radiance
I always want to tell of it, forever

GLYSDI stands for God Loves You So Do I... this is a new ministry in our church founded by one of the business people in church, Benjie, and in which the ministry i joined. This ministry goes out of town to deliver some free medicines, free consultation... FREE CLINIC. But the main concern is for people to know how God loves each and everyone of us that He gave up His one and only Son to die for us so we could enjoy eternity.

October 20, 2007 (Saturday): FREE CLINIC in Bohol

We left Cebu 9:10AM on board the Weesam Express. There was 10 of us. I was really excited!!!

11:00AM-- we arrived at the port of Tagbilaran, Bohol. Someone from our mission church there met us and we drove for no more than 30 mins. I was able to see the scenery of Bohol. I saw the oldest church in Baclayon, since the mission church was in Baclayon. We passed by that really old church. We prepared everything before we had lunch. Food was great! They served us some tinolang manok and some pritong isda. Then... we began. Pastor Kent was really glad i was able to go. He asked me if i did test myself with the Spiritual Gifts then i said, yep! He asked what my Gift was... then i said... It's service and mercy. (What a perfect combination huh?!) Some of us had soul winning... and some of us were watching over the kids... and some were entertaining the patients. As for me... i repacked the medicines so it would be much easier to distribute. Although the heat was really excruciating... i was really having fun. Patients came pouring in... we still wanted to stay though but we were suppose to be on board the last trip at 4:20PM. Pastor Kent drove us to the port... rushing!! 6:15PM-- we arrived in Cebu. It was really a blast!! Next FREE CLINIC... uhmm... still got no idea where but i'd definitely be going!!! Thanks for all your prayers... there were about 40 souls saved last Saturday with about a hundred patients that went over. Having fun serving the Lord!

Do you ever feel tired of waiting? This morning i was waiting for my student to go online but about an hour has passed, he didn't show up?! Hmm... whatever happened to him anyway? He told me yesterday that he'd be extending his class online... little did i know, and i hate it sometimes when people hide something from me. I thought my student was able to talk to my boss, but they were not able to. Guess he finally made a decision that he'll stop studying english online. I was waiting for nothing so to speak. Didn't mind it that much, I know He planned for it to happen anyway. Then i logged off and was in a hurry to have my breakfast, i have to go out to attend that seminar for tour packaging (wished to be a travel agent :p)... but then suddenly the phone rang. It was for me... the seminar was cancelled!!! Whaaaa!!! Oh well, He planned for this to happen again. And here's the reason why i stayed home... Norlyn called me up and guess what? FREE CLINIC is going to be tomorrow. Yiippeee!!! I'm going to Bohol with Pastor Kent and with my church friends for the free clinic. This is going to be exciting. Though we won't be staying there for an overnight... so long as i could join the ministry. I'd be in Bohol for the rest of the day tomorrow, Saturday! Please say a little prayer for our safety and for the people there as well. Thanks!

Recently, I was watching the animation... but about 2 days ago, i was able to watch the entire live movie. It was really the same, totally the same with the animation... the characters, the scenery and everything... I love it!

The story revolves on these two girls who happen to meet in a train on their way to Tokyo. It just so happen that both of these girls have the same name, and the same age as well. Though they have different personalities... but the friendship really prevails in the relationship they have. They're living in the same apartment, they share with the bills. They immediately got along. Even if troubles and heartaches come their way... one supports the other so they both could walk together. Nice story of friendship. Really love it.

What more can i say?? Today is my sister's birthday!!!! Even if she's not here with us... I'm pretty much sure they're also celebrating her birthday there in Korea. Kuya made some paella, some baked eggplant and parfait for dessert. We invited Namiko over to have dinner with us! HAPPY BIRTHDAY TE!!!!! LOVE YOU SOOO MUCH!!! Don't you worry on things... I'm praying for you... and that's always! You're in my prayer list!!!! :) Don't you ever look on the situation... but look on His love for you.