Dear Journal

We didn't know that she got this really high fever that wednesday night. When we were about to go out... we wondered why she didn't go to work. That was then when we knew that her fever was way sooo high! We hurried going back home and brought her some paracetamols and some fruits...

Kuya and I was wide awake last night to check on her every now and then... Right now, she's taking her rest. It's a good thing that we went to the doctor for a check-up. She'll be taking some anti-biotics. And I let of course my prayer partner help me pray for her.

Her fever doesn't get low up until now... but i'm pretty much sure it will no sooner.

Now, i've realized how useful it would be if i'd study japanese language. By then i could understand some anime... and be able to talk to her too! She's just like my sister. 'been wanting to learn and been wanting to speak fluently korean and japanese. I could read korean alright but i could not communicate. It's broken korean! Arghh! I have to practice! practice! practice!

I can't believe I am updating my blog using my very own PC... I bought this about 3 weeks ago.. With my savings and good thing i still have some left.

My brother went with me when we bought this little piece of sculpture... Who could've believe that i could buy my own PC. I also bought with me my very own Computer table... duh!

But anyway, i really thank God that He gave me this blessing!

This is just sooo good to be true!

which simply means... I CAN FLY EVEN TO THE SKY

There are a lot of things that happened in this very month of September. Despite of the rains that came pouring everyday... it didn't hinder the events that just passed...

September 2, Sunday to be exact. Right after we went to church... We had lunch at Golden Courie. It's a good thing that my brother agreed to my plan to take mama and papa out for lunch... and i mean a formal lunch. It was his treat by the way... i got no money yet since i quit my call center job. We invited Namiko with us too. Hey, who else would be left but just the three of us right? So, we tagged her along too!

September 8, That was a sunny Saturday... 3:20PM was their flight on board Philippine Airlines flight 858. I wanted to cry and just hug them and beg for them not to leave... but that's just how it goes. I remember that place... the exact place when i bid someone soo dear goodbye and hoped that we'd see each other once again. But... things are not just what we want. My parents have to leave for CA and who knows when they'd be back. I trust God that He'd hold them soo tight and care for them more than i cared for both of them. PA called for the passengers... guess that's it! they have to leave. I hugged them both soo tight! I wanted not to cry but i just can't help it... they just fall on my cheeks. This is why i hate goodbyes! Arrghhh!!!

It was only yesterday that i finally realized that there is really nothing permanent in this world. Things come and go. People come and leave... but there is only ONE who sticks and would surely keep HIS promises. As i read John 14:1-3, and i will hold on to it, I know He will come back and take me with Him. 

September 13... I tried to ring his phone. I still have his number with me you know. He tried to send an SMS i replied and asked if it was really him. Guess he forgot about that number. Though i gave that number to his mother... He might not did something before when we parted... OR... he might probably have forgotten about me.

September 16, Sunday. I tried to invite everyone... but no one wanted to come to church with me for our Young People's program. It ended up... Ronald came with me and i cooked lunch for him. I wanted him to come to church with me but he insisted. I just kept silent and just let him be. He told me how his girlfriend gets jealous over nothing. I told him it's but normal coz she's not here with him...She just missed him that's why. Anyway, i cooked some korean dishes for him. He enjoyed it... then it was time for him to go home and have a rest. I gave him a ride.

September 18, Tuesday. We had our second discipleship study. I am just soo thankful that God gave so many oportunities to get to know Him better. I talked with Ruth... and told her about Junjun... I just couldn't understand why all of a sudden i missed him. She told me i have to move on... and learn to make room for new relationships. It's a good thing she was there so i could talk to her anything...

Well... I guess that's it... September is still not over yet... Each day rain came pouring... but i know there will surely be a rainbow after the rain. There's always hope...

Surely sun will shine on me...

- John 14:1-3 -

And I know that I can find You here
'Cause You promised me You'll always be there
Times like these, it's hard to see
But somehow I have a peace, You're near
And I pray that You will use my life
In whatever way Your name is glorified
Even if surrendering
Means leaving everything behind

My life has never been this clear
Now I know the reason why I'm here
You never know why You're alive
Until you know what you would die for
I would die for You

And I know I don't have much to give
But I promise You I will give You all there is
Can I possibly do less
When through Your own death I live?

No greater love is found
Than of those who lay their own lives down
As sure as I live and breathe
Now I know what it means to be free

Newsclip: (this is really funny! ENJOY... )

I thought Jay's ex-girlfriend was really out of our lives. But heaven only goes that I was wrong.

Kakakasal pa lang namin nun when Jay received a unanimous text. "Meet me at the clinic." I had a stinking feeling in my butt. I told him not to go.

Pero sabi nya, ok lang daw because life is what we make. Tumahimik lang ako. Sabi nya, "penny for you talks." But i didn't know what to say.

Beggars can't be losers. Isa pa, worried talaga ako na baka yung girl yun.

Jay said, "Can't got your tongue?" I tried to smile at him. Kahit di ako nagsalita, actions speak louder than works, di ba?

Be that as is may, umalis pa rin sya. I was out of the loophole. After a few hours, I called him on his cellphone. But my calls fell on Jeff's ears.

Lalo akong nag-worry kasi I didn't even know Jeff. Sabi na nga ba di na dapat umalis si Jay. That's what I'm talking about it.

So I tried calling some friends who will help me find Jay. That's what friends are for naman di ba? But i just faced a blank mall.

I had to do this alone. Nag-taxi na lang ako. Pero ang mahal na pala ng plug down rate.

When i got to the clinic, the security was really buffed up. Di basta-basta makakapasok. So i said, "I beg your cordon. I'm patient." It's my favorite virtue nga e.

Nagduda yata yung isang guard. Hinawakan ako sa arm. The nerd! I shouted, "Don't touch me not!" Buti na lang the other guards were nice and said, "Come on, let's join us."

When i went inside parang I've been there, done there. Nung walang nakatingin, nag explore ako. Nakarating ako sa top floor and i had a bird's IQ of the clinic.

I could not explain it but i was drawn to a room on the floor. Siguro Divine Intermission na yun.

Parang may naririnig akong umuungol. I was thorn. Di ko alam kung aalis ba ako o papasukin ko.

It made me stick in the stomach to think that Jay and his ex-girlfriend were there. I tried to tell myself to slower my expectations.

But to tell with it! I had to strike while the iron is not. I had to hear the truth from the corpse's mouth. I baragged in.

Omy gas! Si Jay, naka-strap sa operating table, parang genie pig sa isang nakakatakot na experiment. He was on the cutting edge. He was bleeding.

At ang doctor na nagpapahirap sa kanya, ang ex-girlfriend nya at ang bago nitong boyfriend, ang nurse na si Walter. Doon ko napatunayang blood is thickier than Walter.

Guess watch? Di ko alam kung paano ko nagawa pero i was able to search and rescue Jay. Siguro adrenaline brush na yun.

Now, he's recovering. Nag-sorry siya na hindi siya nakinig sa akin.

I know it's a better pill to swallow your pride so it's forgive and forget me not. All swell that end swell. I know we should kiss and put on makeup.

Ang ex-girlfriend naman niya at si Walter, nakakulong na. Detention is really better than cure. So the moral of the lesson is: if symptoms persist, insult your doctor.

The Moon and the Knife

If my words are not enough
You may slice my chest open with a knife hollow it out

The truth is, even I've noticed
Most of your indecision and excuses

Someday, will i hate someone the way i did again?
If i do, then you should hold me
Tighter and tighter, so i stick in your heart like a thorn
I should remain with you always, always

It's too late for me to say anything, but
It's probably okay for all your words to be lies

If all i do is repeat these kinds of situations,
Will my tears reach to the moon someday?

Will i be able to love someone the way i did again?
When i do, then time should surely flow like a fragrant breeze
it should go on forever, always, always